Mexico - Coatepec and its divas

For the past three weeks, I've been settled in Coatepec, a charming little town nestled in the mountains of the state of Veracruz.

A small town, yes, but one with a truly irresistible trio: mole, coffee, and orchids.

I naively thought that orchids were just expensive flowers that die as soon as you look at them a little too much. What a monumental mistake! These plants are, in fact, the greatest manipulators, sexual con artists, and survivors in the history of the plant kingdom.

Buckle up, we're about to dive into their world.

It all begins in ancient Greece with a macho man named Orchis. The son of a nymph and a satyr, he got drunk at one of Dionysus's parties and tried to... let's just say... charm a priestess a little too vigorously. As a result, the gods punished him by dismembering him, but thanks to his father's intervention, he was transformed into a flower.

His testicles (orchis in Latin) turn into tubers, and thus the name "orchid" was born. The moral of the story: if you overindulge in divine tequila, you risk ending up with underground genitals.

Let's fast forward to modern times: we're heading to Coatepec, Mexico, the official Mecca of orchids. Here, they have an annual festival, a dedicated museum, and cloud forests teeming with specimens that seem to know they're more beautiful than you.

Here, everyone is showing off their hybrids and rare varieties. If you want to impress a botanist, just say, "I've been to Coatepec," and watch him swoon.

But the true genius of orchids lies in their mating strategy. Forget nectar. Here's the tactic employed by the bee orchid. It has decided to create a fake profile, expert level. Just look at this beauty:

credit: commons.wikimedia.org et Claude Nuridsany

The flower looks uncannily like a female bee in heat, pheromones and all. The male bee arrives, sees the beauty, tries his luck... and ends up with pollen stuck from head to... legs. He flies off frustrated, goes to the next flower... and pollinates it without even realizing it, his hormones controlling his little brain. Zero consent, 100% efficiency. Darwin must have thought, "Okay, evolution clearly has a twisted sense of humor."

Speaking of Darwin, in 1862, he published an entire book on the pollination of orchids. He was obsessed. He demonstrated that these absurd structures could only exist through a slow co-evolution with insects. Basically: "Look how ingenious nature is..." Orchids were his living proof that evolution is not a sweet children's fable.

credit: Isabella Armour, Darwin's orchidea

In 1862, Charles Darwin was sent an orchid from Madagascar with a ridiculously long nectar spur, 30 cm long. Instead of saying, "Wow, what a pretty flower," he declared, "There must be a moth with a tongue of the same length, otherwise it's impossible!" Everyone laughed at him, calling him an old fool obsessed with oversized organs (just like Orchis before him), and for 41 years, scientists teased him about it, sometimes gently, sometimes not. Then in 1903, bang! A moth was discovered with a proboscis exactly 30 cm long... proving Darwin right.

And then there's the undisputed star: vanilla, which, of course, originates from Mexico. It infuses our pastries with an incomparable aroma.

credit: LuberonGourmet.com

And don't even get me started on artificial vanilla. Of course it's cheaper, but... its flavor doesn't even come close to that of the orchid's fruit.

N.B. Approximately 15,000 tons of artificial vanilla are produced annually, compared to only about 50 tons of natural vanilla.

But beware, orchids are in danger.

Deforestation, massive illegal harvesting, the disappearance of specific pollinators... The result: more than half of the species are threatened. We're talking about a group of plants that has survived millions of years of evolution, and which is now at risk of disappearing.

The next time you buy one, think of Orchis, the frustrated bee, and Darwin taking notes while blushing.

Have you ever been the victim of a capricious orchid?